It's Almost Unreal

I think the line from the old Roxette song describes it so well. It's all done and dusted and I hardly noticed it happening in the end. I've left the country, my flat, my job, my friends. A few days ago it was still "I will leave" or "I am leaving" and now it's a simple and sober "I've left". I've quit my job, terminated all my bills, said goodbye to everyone. That's actually what I thought would be the difficult part: saying goodbye. After knowing people for years and being quite close to some I had ... certain expectations. But, in fact, it still went the quickest while settling my accounts seemed to take ages. Time flies when you're enjoying yourself and, so, the moment I wanted to savour the most - looking everyone in the eye, shaking their hand or giving them a hug - was over in a flash. It was like always. With everyone busy at work I would often only see them every odd weekend (at most). Saying goodbye for a few weeks was not unusual. I actually struggle to use "was" here instead of "is". It takes some time to sink in that I may not see some of them again, that past tense is the appropriate form here.
And then, before I realise it, everything's packed and I'm at the airport checking in, passing security, taking my place on the plane. Again, it's something I've done so many times that it seems completely normal, a routine. This time, however, I only have a sinle ticket.
And so, the next day, I wake up again in the realm of the 19-year-old that left for UK almost seven years ago. The room is like a time-capsule and the last seven years like a dream. A few odd items and the long list of MSN contacts are the only reminders that it's not. Things feel very unreal. An entire chapter of my life has come to it's conclusion in a single hectic final day. And at the same time, very quietly, unceremoniously, a new one begins. It's not a "fade out, fade in" but a quick "wipe to".
As my good friend MY said: "this is not the last time we have dinner together before you leave but it's the first time we have dinner togther in this new chapter of your life." So, since we're here at the dawn of the new day, the new life, on the first page of a new chapter let me begin with the acknowledgements and special thanks:

I'd like to thank you all for your inspiration and support, input, help, advice and encouragement. Without you I wouldn't be where I am today - and I mean that in every best possible way. You've enriched my life and without you my time in the UK would have been unbearably boring. I wish you all the very best. I will meet new people on the way but I will not forget you!

Now, watch this space.

Country of Heroes?

I still know painfully little about the history of China. It is, unfortunately, something that is not taught at school in Germany. I'm only slowly starting to piece things together from friends' accounts, museums, books and a trip to the country.
Recently a confusing realisation hit me:
The Chinese relationship with the Japanese is defined by their common history. Many Chinese will only remember the Japanese war crimes against China, including the most infamous incident known as the Nanking Massacre at the end of 1937. Japan, they say, has never adequately attoned or even apologised for the attrocities committed. More still, Japan stands accused of trying to "white-wash" their history to their own people by failing to mention these event in their recent history books. I have met quite a number of Chinese who harbour a strong dislike for Japanese because of this.
At the same time, it seems to be a common dream among young Chinese people to come to Britain to study, to learn the English language. Girls have told me of how good-looking the British males are. Many would like a British boyfriend - preferrably to marry them and secure their future in the UK. Were they dealing with Japanese this would often be unthinkable.
But what of the British crimes against China? I'm only beginning to see the big picture of this but what I see is just preposterous. The British systematically corrupted China by getting its people addicted to opium, smuggling it into the country while it was still illegal by Imperial law. When China attempted to stop the sale of opium there was war - the Opium Wars - leaving the Emperor to agree to open ports and eventually even legalise opium - the probably only case in history where the sale of a drug was forced on a country at a national level!. The British demanded compensation after compensation - treaties that left China at severe disadvantages. One of the items was the (then) small port town of Hong Kong for which they demanded ownership for 100 years. They returned it about 50 years late! China was repeatedly humiliated by the allied European nations and I am ashamed of the German involvement to subdue the Boxer Uprising. Still, it is probably safe to say that the British played a major part in the eventual downfall of the last dynasty even though other nations were involved. If it is any indication, their military presence was by far the strongest comparing 10,000 British troops to a mere 900 Germans. And what of the countless thousands of death caused by wars provoked by British Imperialism, the bombardment of cities including Beijing itself and the deaths that followed in the wake of opium addiction? What of the misery caused to millions more?
Of course, the reasons were claimed to be promoting civilisation, spreading the word of God, protecting British interests. All this serves as an extremely thin cover for a nation whose entire history has been motivated by one thing: greed. How could the British claim to bring civilisation to an Empire that had civilisation before Bitain
even existed? Sadly, China and the Imperial court made some severe mistakes when first dealing with the foreigners and they paid dearly for them. The final insult came only recently when Hong Kong was at last returned to China: Charles, the Prince of Wales, called it "the great Chinese take-away". The insolence knows no bounds! Was it not plain theft that brought Hong Kong into the possession of the British in the first place!? Ignorance and arrogance, both qualities that the British have always excelled in, united in a single phrase.
The British have white-washed their history. And more of it than the Japanese. Not only have they never regretted the troubles they brought to their colonies, they are proud of being the great Imperial ruler and wish they still were. "Rule Britannia" they sing. It makes me furious watching their politicians point their dirty fingers at others while wearing a vest of blazing white. Thy sit on their little island like a fat, ignorant slug knowing - or at least appreciating - as little of their past crimes as the Japanese are accused of. They are taught that they once were a great Empire and their press sometimes behaves as if it were so still. They wail about the influx of foreigners that take away their jobs and their space and their money. Surely, that must be what it feels like being a colony.
The name for Britain in Mandarin Chinese 英国 (Yingguo) can loosely translate to "Country of Heroes" or "Brave Country". Honestly, I think they may have picked the wrong character.