Revenge My Ass!

This is review of the new Transformers - Revenge of the Fallen. It contains harsh language. There are also a number of spoilers. Neither are avoidable, so if you are offended by either do not read on.

I had such high expectations. I was not going to be discouraged by the initial reviews. Sadly, this time I have to agree. Yes, it's big, it's loud, it has dizzyingly impressive visuals and big explosions, and transforming alien robots. The problem is, it's also in this order. The Transformers - the namesakes of this production, for crying out loud - come last. Apart from them the film is more like a big-budget advertising reel for the US army. The only thing missing are directions on where to sign up.

The Transformers seem to be there mainly to provide a reason for America to mobilise against something - and for comic relief. Take the "twins". Take the little "spybot". Take Jetfire (in the source material one of the most powerful Autobots): a Transformer with a walking stick and uncontrollable bodily functions. Take Bumblebee: His character is reduced to a fierce but cute guard doggy for Spike. At the end of the last film he had learnt to speak. Now he's back to making unintelligible but adorable sounds. Even Starscream (my favourite): He was introduced as one of the most dangerous of all Decepticons in the previous film, where he took on several Autobots and armies of human soldiers. Now he's little more than an embarrassingly comical coward.

The first half or so of the movie is actually fairly promising with some clever Decepticon trickery and introducing some of my favourite characters (like Soundwave, Ravage, the Constructicons or Arcee). They even bring back Megatron - which got me excited like a school boy again. Then follow some episodes about family, college life and how bloody omni-present the CIA are. In the end, though, most of the big heroics - and most of the screen time - go to US soldiers showing off their impressive equipment and response times. Note that in the beginning China's military takes no action - they wait for the US to save the day. Note also that the Autobots actually live as shiny cars in a US army base and only get hoisted around when they are needed - like extras. Then, when we finally get to the climatic battle I had to sit and watch helplessly as Devastator (in the source the ultimate Decepticon fighting machine) is taken out by some damn US secret weapon and an entire Decepticon army is wiped out by an American air strike. The Autobots, who also take part in the battle, are mainly seen in the background shooting at nothing in particular. The face-off between Optimus Prime and the Fallen then comes almost as an after-though. As in: "oh, yes, we still have to finish off that part of the plot."
Now, the source material has always involved the army. It is, after all, about war. That's generally fine. So, in the first film it was tolerable since it also preserved some classic moments. Or so I felt. Here, I disagree with a lot of other viewers. This one, however, has clearly crossed the line. All I see here is that some great source material has been raped - yes, raped! - so that Americans can once again feel good about their eff-ing army.

I went to see this film to see - well, surprise! - the Transformers. What I got was a story about how America's army is so cool they can even take on alien robots. So, maybe this film should be more appropriately named "USA and the Transformers". After the first film I had tears in my eyes for finally seeing the material come the big screen. After this my eyes almost watered again. Only this time it was tears of disappointment and frustration. Such potential - wasted! This film was obviously only made to make more big money with a big franchise and Megan Fox wearing tight outfits. I'm afraid and sad it may even work. I feel this is an insult to the community that so loves these characters. I hope we can go on as if this hadn't happened. I say it now and I mean it: I will not watch any third instalment if it is still Michael Bay and his creative team producing it.

Face your Enemy

It's something you'd expect a Far-Eastern Zen master to teach you: "Your harshest competitor, your worst enemy is in yourself." I found it interesting to experience that first-hand. There's a bit of a story to it.
I had signed up for last week's JP Morgan Chase Corporate Challenge run. That's a 5.6 km marathon that's held, among other places, in Frankfurt once a year. I'm not the fittest person, really, so I started the run with mixed feelings. The furthest I had run previously was around 4 km and not on a regular basis. Would I reach the finish line, at all? Well, I was in for a surprise. Not only did I reach the finish line but crossing it I realised I was groggy but I could have actually gone on. You might have said I felt empowered. I ran the 5.6 km in about 31 minutes and was asking for more.
I think, a lot of people felt similarly surprised - that they could do more than they thought. "The crowd pulls you along", was something I heard a number of people say. It sounds trivial but I guess they had a point. Maybe it's a mixture of motivation and distraction that makes you go on and lets you think less about the effort of running. There's always something to occupy your mind - whether making sure you're on the right track or avoiding other runners or not tripping in the crowd.
Tonight I ran my usual 4-something kilometers again. It was in better shape than usual but nowhere near that of last Wednesday. The difference is that I know the route and I run alone. If there's nothing much to distract you it's hard to ignore your thumping heart and racing breath. Those sounds become your only companions. And that exactly must be the moment when you encounter your greatest enemy. With nothing to distract you you must face him. That's surely also the reason why many people run with a friend - to get reinforcements. But only if you face your enemy alone and prevail then you've truly defeated him.
One day ... bit by bit ... to wear him down ...

Nostalgia Animated

I guess, I was feeling kinda sentimental this weekend. You could say that my generation is probably the first of the TV junkies. It's not that my parents just set me in front of a TV, I discovered its magical attraction by myself during a stay at the hospital where I couldn't do much else. After that I'd spend weekend mornings in front of the box devouring one cartoon after another, episode by episode. I'd watch them after coming home from school. They were sometimes my motivation to do homework more quickly or my excuse for skipping them.
Talking to my friend about what we watched as kids made me think. I often say cartoons today, things like Pokemon or Dragonball, are not what they used to be. So, I thought back about what were those shows that shaped my childhood. For better or worse.
So, here they are. The list is surely not comprehensive but it should at least cover the stuff I watched on a regular basis. The links lead to videos of the opening titles, which, happily, you can still (or again) find on youtube. Join me on a tour of my childhood.

Galaxy Rangers: Law men in the future, each with their special abilities.
He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: The prince of a threatened kingdom discovers he can use his magical sword to become the "most powerful man in the universe" and fight back against his enemy Skeletor.
Transformers: Two species of convertible robots, the good Autobots and the evil Decepticons, fight an ancient war and end up on earth where their struggle continues for the resources of the planet. Probably my all-time favourite. Of course, there was a highly successful toy series.
Challenge of the Gobots: Similar to Transformers. According to sources this actually came first but was way not as popular.
Bravestarr: The Exploits of Marshall Bravestarr, lawman with mystical powers, and his robotic talking horse protecting the citizens of the planet New Texas. Also one of my favourites.
Inspector Gadget: A clumsy inspector of Scotland Yard is equipped with countless ingenious gadgets while his niece and her dog secretly help him solve cases and thwart the plans of the evil Dr. Claw.
Queen Millennia: A mysterious planet is diverted from its orbit and hurled through space on a collision course with earth while its inhabitants secretly work on earth to avert the catastrophy. Very original, I was so sad when it ended. (Here's the original Japanese intro)
Starcom: Can't remember much; law enforcers or military in space. There was an elaborate toy series.
Voltron: With the universe in danger a special force is dispatched to recover the lost super robot Voltron fight off the evil forces.
Bionic Six: A family of six bionically enhanced individuals fight crime.
Mask: A secret force of crime fighters driving convertible vehicles fight the similarly equipped evil organisation dubbed Venom.
Silverhawks: Sadly, I can't really remember what this was about.
Saber Rider and the Star Sheriffs: Special unit of law enforcers, equipped with high tech weapons and a super spaceship that transforms into a huge robot, called Ramrod, fight evil on distant planets.
Defenders of the Earth: A group of famous (super) heroes fight crime and evil.
The Real Ghostbusters: Based on the movie of the same name, a group of four specially equipped scientists catch malevolent ghosts in and around New York.
She-Ra: He-Man's twin sister, also equipped with a magic sword and "fabulous powers" leads the battle against the evil Hordak.
Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles: Four genetically mutated, humanoid turtles with a craving for pizza are trained as ninja and fight crime and the foot clan led by the evil Shredder around New York.
Ulysses 31: Based on the Odyssee from Greek Myth but in space.
Captain Future: Can't really remember this one but I did watch it on occasions.
Captain Planet: The one and only environmentally friendly cartoon around five kids with rings of power that could combine to call up the defender of the environment: Captain Planet. It's kind of embarrassing today.
Addams Family: Yes, there was also a cartoon based on the B&W series about the weird and spooky family.
Spider-man: Based on the Marvel comic, when young student Peter Parker gets bitten by a radio-active spider and develops the powers of that animal he must realise that "with great power comes great responsibility" and he sets out to fight crime and super villains around New York.
Spider-man and his Amazing Friends: Spidey gets reinforcements from two other super heroes: Iceman and Firestar.
The Incredible Hulk: Another Marvel cartoon, about Professor Connor who when under stress transforms into an incredibly strong, violent monster of a man.
Mr. T: A series about the actor Mr. T (from the A-Team) about fighting crime and providing valuable lessons for kids. Embarrassing, I know.
Robocop: Based on the feature film of the same name but way not as violent, Detroit police officer Alex Murphy is mortally wounded in action and his body cybernetically enhanced and armoured making him a super-cop.
Gummibears: A tribe of tiny Gummibears live in an enchanted forest and equipped with their Gummibear juice that gives them great power they have lots of adventures and must fight off evil monsters.
Ewoks: Based on the characters from Star Wars - Return of the Jedi, a series about the adventures of the ewoks on the forest moon of Endor before or after the movie happened.
Jem: Can't really remember much, except that I watched it every weekend on the English channel.
Smurfs: The good-hearted little Smurfs live hidden in their village deep in the forest and must evade the evil sorceror Gargamel and have many other adventures. (Since I can't find this intro in English this is the original French opening.)
Michel Vaillant: A series about the race driver of that name and his adventures. (this is the German opening.)
Ring Raiders: A short-lived series about a special military organisation that could give their fighter planes special power stored in a ring worn by each pilot. There was also a collectible toy series.
Rude Dog and the Dweebs: A pack of dogs lead by the ultra-cool (or so he thinks) Rude Dog trick cats and other people that want to get at their home.
Dungeons & Dragons: Based on the roleplaying game, a group of kids are magically transported into a fantasy world where each receive special powers, where they have to fight evil, find a way home and receive guidance by the mysterious Dungeon Master.
The Flintstones: What, you don't know the Flintstones? The stone-age family?
Beverly Hills Teens: Can't remember much, a lot of it seems to be concerned with being cool but it's been a long time since I watched it when the English channel still had cartoons.
Tom & Jerry: A slightly dumb cat and a clever mouse - guess what will happen.
Die Schnellste Maus von Mexiko (never found out the English title): A spin-off of Bugs Bunny about Speedy Gonzalez a lightning fast mouse, Sylvester the cat, Duffy Duck and Roadrunner and Koyote. I loved this, I would even come indoors from playing to watch this.
The Bugs Bunny Show: Lots of short funny episodes about Bugs and his friends.
Around the World with Willy Fogg: A cartoon adaptation of Jules Verne's classic except that all characters are talking animals.
Ducktales: The adventures of Disney's favourite characters, Scrooge McDuck and his family.

The list goes on ...

On how hard it can be

Love isn't easy. A very dear person once told me that. When you see a couple that have had their "happily ever after", that are still happy after many years of being together, what you don't see is all the effort and endured hardship that have gone into the relationship and without which they wouldn't be where they are now. Still, sometimes I do wish there was an easier way out.
I'm talking about distance, immeasurable distance, even though you feel so close. I'm talking about hearing, seeing but not touching nor feeling. I'm talking about being separated by 12 hours flight, 7 hours time difference, national borders, a telephone line, a computer screen. I'm talking about letters not delivered, static on the line, connections failing and, who knows what's next - bosses' whims? I'm talking about frustration. I'm talking about loneliness even though there's should be somebody right next to you. I'm talking about dreams made together but having no idea if they have a future. I'm talking about feelings that defy words but having no other way to express them. I'm talking about the moment when mere words are not enough. And I'm talking of hoping against likely odds.
It's not only about love but about patience. And in a way also about faith. And finally about that bit of wildly unreasonable optimism. But I couldn't do it alone.

Objects in the Rear View Mirror ...

"Are you a movie star?"
That's the first thing she said to me. Would you think it's an effective pick-up line? I actually thought she was making fun of me at the time. I was growing my hair. It wasn't short anymore but it still wasn't really long either. I was in that awkward time when you can't tie a ponytail and your hair hangs messily into your face. I certainly didn't feel like a movie star. Still, her smile seemed genuine. She squeezed onto the bench next to me. The table in the little student bar was getting crowded - the guy she had arrived with had to sit at the next table. And the girl I was trying to have a date with sat unreachably two people away from me happily chatting and laughing with a guy I hadn't been introduced to.
So, partially to avoid feeling jealous, I made conversation, too. Who was this girl who was teasing me with fame despite my hair? She explained she was from Malaysia but was ethnically Chinese. Indeed she was short, maybe 1 meter 60 with long black hair and a cute Asian face with big, brown eyes. I clearly remember thinking that she was really cute. I had to ask her where Malaysia was. I asked her about the golden necklace she was wearing. Dangling from it on her chest was a Chinese character. She showed it to me, explained how to pronounce it and told me it was her family name. A few minutes later I had forgotten most of those facts again. But the conversation with her was very easy and time passed quickly. At the end of the evening she left with the others and, in private with my date at last, I got turned down.
Fast forward to next week. Same group of people. This time we went to the student club. She was there with two other Asian guys. On the dance floor, jerking wildly to pop music, I met her. We started dancing together and soon the group around us was forgotten. We smiled at each other, bumped hips in time with the music and stared intently into each other's eyes. When her friends wanted to leave I asked her to stay but she couldn't. The two guys were taking her back.
The next day I met her outside the dining hall. I was actually quite excited to see her again. She greeted me with: "Hello, dancing man." My heart sank. She was making fun of me, after all. She thought last night had been silly. Still, we chatted and I eventually went ahead asking her out. No intentions. To make a friend. Dinner at a pub near university. She said yes.
Fast forward again to the night of our dinner. We talked all the way through the meal and on until the pub closed. When we left it was raining. Where to go? Our halls were 20 minutes' walking distance from here. We ran for shelter to the maths and physics building, which had a porch with a small roof. We sat in the dark and talked while the rain poured down. She was cold, so I put my arm around her. She told me many things about herself, her life. Today I can't remember anymore why she started crying. Hearing her sob in the dark, rainy night I didn't know what to do, so I just held her, hugged her close, tried to comfort her. Next thing I knew she had turned around in my arms and planted her lips on mine. It was my first kiss. And even when she pressed so hard that I cut my lips on my own teeth I didn't dare to speak up. I was afraid the moment would end. We were still sitting there long after the rain had stopped. I remember when I finally got to my room 3 am had already passed. I was wondering if everything had just been a dream.
We continued to meet in the evening, after dark. Her friends were not to know that her boyfriend (I was her boyfriend - it had a nice ring to it) was a Westerner. It had something of a mystery romance, meeting in secret behind the halls or down by the beach. It was cold but I never cared because she would be there. We went for walks in the park or on the beach between lectures during the day, met again for dinner in the evening and shared one of our small single beds at night.
Friends on my floor in the halls were getting excited. Who was my new girlfriend? They wanted me to introduce her. A course mate who lived next door told me he didn't like me seeing her. My affection for the last girl, he said, had been more genuine. It wouldn't last. I didn't know what he meant. A friend of hers asked me to his room. He told me that she was his good friend, he wouldn't let me hurt her. I didn't get it: why would I want to hurt her? Another course mate, I learned later, was talking behind my back: I was having myself some "bamboo". I didn't even begin to understand where he was coming from.
I did know that for the first time in my life I was falling completely, deeply, hopelessly in love.

But it was long ago and it was far away
Oh God, it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway
Then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror
May appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror
May appear closer than they are
...

Fast forward days, months, years. Separation. Reunion. Exams. Holidays. Job hunting. Present day. So many things have happened between us. Some good, some less so. She is far away in a different country under different stars and with a different man now. I have also moved on. I am not the man that dreamed with her on the beach then. I have found someone new again. Our love is only a distant memory. She has chosen to forget, to not let the past burden her. But I refuse to let go. Why?
It's like the box of memorabilia that you keep in the attic. They collect dust. They fade. And everyone tells you to throw them out already. Life goes on, friends come and go, people change, you gain a bit you loose a bit. But sometimes, in a quiet moment, you go up there and flip through them slowly, inspecting them one by one before you carefully put them back. And you're glad they're still there. Because this is something nobody can take from you. This is you. And sometimes you think what a funny old life it has been.

I Wish

I wish you were not so far away,
I wish you were near,
Right by me, here,
I wish I could find an easier way,
For me to say,
You're my dear.

I wish I could hold you close,
And have nothing to fear,
Because we'd see clear,
What it is that means the most,
We'd never be lost,
If that time was here.

I wish my nights were not so lonely,
So empty and cold,
Without you to hold,
My darling, it's you that I want only,
I wish it was easy,
For the heart to be bold.

I wish that time was not so long,
Until I can see your face,
And feel your embrace.
For you I wish to be strong,
And carry on,
I wish months were just days.

I wish these things were simple and plain,
I wish this to be true,
So we won't have to feel blue,
It would not be in vain,
My little Elaine,
Because I love you.