Beast

A slightly different take on the classic. I guess I don't have to mention where this is from.

Once upon a time there was a forest. Long ago it had been lush and green. During day time golden sunlight had filtered through emerald leaves. Graceful deer had played in the clearings while squirrels had hectically darted up and down trees searching for their hidden treasures. Colourful birds had greeted every new day with their songs while at night owls bade it a hooting farewell. All this, however, was no more. The forest was now dark and forbidding. The trees had grown gnarled and twisted. Sunlight did not seem to reach the ground nor did moonlight sparkle on the hidden pools at night. Birds would not sing and deer dared not tread. Red-eyed wolves prowled the dark of night tearing all to pieces that they found.
In this forest there was an old tower. In fact, it may well have once been a mighty keep with turrets and battlements. Banners may have flown high in the breeze and even trumpets may have sounded at the return of the master of this place. Now, however, it was little more than a ruin. Flag poles were snapped, battlements crumbled. Even its mighty gates had rotted and collapsed under their own weight and the water of the moat had turned into a pungent cesspool shunned even by rats and devoid of any and all life. Only the tower still stood, rising above the crumbled remains of the other buildings like a hollow tooth in an old hag's mouth.
Still, no living being dared to set foot in that place nor so much as go near. The animals avoided it and travellers went out of their way to take the longer road around the forest and its tower. Because the old tower in the middle of the forest was the home of a beast.
It was a beast so terrible that nobody had yet claimed to have faced it and lived. Yet the stories about it were many. I was said to be so ugly that it would make mirrors shatter, milk turn sour or even make a man that laid eyes on it turn to stone. Its teeth were said to drip venom. Its breath was said to make flowers shrivel. And where it set foot, so people told, grass would instantly wither and die and not grow again for a year and a day. So vicious it was that even wolves and great bears were afraid of its bite and its claws. And when its roar echoed through the night it seemed as if the whole world fell quiet and held its breath with fear. It ate little children, some whispered. Others would assure you it fed on a single virgin once a year. Some claimed to have seen it stalk the little nearby villages at night in the guise of a lonely traveller and only the flicking tail from under its cloak would give it away. It was in league with witches, satyrs or even the devil himself people suspected. Within its tower it did unspeakable, unholy things. One thing, however, everybody agreed on: it was evil and deserved no pity nor mercy.
The beast had, in fact, once been a handsome prince, some old folks would tell. But the prince had been selfish and mean, deceitful and cruel. So, when one day an old crone came to his castle at the centre of the forest and had begged for a place in the stables that night he had turned her away and laughed. Then she was a crone no more but a beautiful sorceress and had laid on him a terrible curse. He would henceforth take the outward shape of what his heart was like inside. He would remain like this until his heart was finally cleansed by the flame of true love or he would die a hideous beast. Then she had vanished and his servants had fled in horror and he had been alone. Alone with his spite and his hate and his shame.
As years went by the castle fell into ruin and the longer he was alone the blacker his heart would grow and the more hideous he became. Heroes came to slay the terrible beast but he frightened them away easily or tore those to pieces that would not be daunted. But no maiden came to save his soul and there was no love in his heart. Eventually, he abandoned all hope that the curse would ever be lifted because who would ever love a terrible beast such as him?
Would it not have been a happy coincidence if, at this point, a fair maiden had got lost in the dark forest and somehow had found her way to the beast's castle? She would, of course, have been terrified by his appearance at first. But maybe she would have discovered that despite his roaring and beastly appearance and manners all the time spent as a loathed and feared monstrosity had changed him. Might she not have found that now he was merely a lonely, pitiful creature afraid to accept anybody's help? And indeed, she may have realised that he was a soul hoping to better himself and in search of a chance for redemption. She may have found a reborn, noble heart beneath the monstrous exterior - a heart worth forgiving, trusting and maybe even loving. Thus, after many years of imprisonment the curse might have eventually been broken and the beast released from its punishment. They might have lived happily ever after.
The truth is that maiden did come. Only what she found was not a pitiful, lonely creature looking for redemption. What she encountered there hidden in the dark tower living like an animal was a soul filled to the brim with bitterness and hate. Not with the world at large - that she may have understood, for a man can only spend so long in the body of a monster with all the world loathing him. But all his contempt was only for himself. There had been that beautiful sorceress once, though she was a sorceress only for enchanting him utterly. But despite his love for her he had been selfish and mean. And still she had stayed seeing the good in him and believing she could bring it out like a flower grows out of parched earth. But for every time he hurt her he found himself more and more unable to face his own reflection anymore. How could he deserve this woman's love? How could he accept what she gave him so willingly? Every harsh word he spoke cut him almost the same deep as it did her yet though he vowed to change he never did. He began to hate her for every time she forgave him. And he loathed himself for needing the love she would still give him and which he did not deserve. Nearly mad with shame and contempt he turned it all against her and made it her mistake. Every kind word or gentle touch he would shove back at her like a mouldy apple. Finally, she stopped smiling and her loving words dried out. Then he sank into a deep, dark sadness. It was only then when she found that he was in this place where she could not possibly follow him and remain sane that she abandoned him.
And it was that day, when he found her gone, that he turned into a beast. In a fit of grief and rage he smashed all the mirrors and windows, tore down the tapestries and paintings and burnt them and drove away all the servants. Only when he had finally destroyed everything beautiful and everything that could possibly remind him of her that he rested. That night was the first time his howl of despair was heard echoing through the forest. Living like an animal he drove everyone away regardless of whether they had come to harm him or help him. Years upon years he lived there haunted by memories that would not fade of mistakes he could not undo anymore. Even though she may have eventually forgiven him it was he himself that refused to be forgiven wearing his guilt like a self-flagellation, or a self-inflicted mark of shame. And possibly the only reason that kept him from taking his own life became a grim willingness to endure pain upon pain unto the bitter end.
When then the maiden did find him she found something far more terrifying than the monster from the legends. She found a soul who had by all his will shut happiness out of his life and destroyed everything that he loved so that the pain he would have to endure would have no end. The prince had cursed himself.

有朋 - If a friend ...

“有朋自远方来，不亦乐乎？”
"If a friend comes from afar would you not be happy?"
This famous quote by none other than the great Confucius himself adorns the arrival hall of Beijing Capital Airport. Printed on a huge banner it spans the lofty glass and steel heights above the immigration desks. Further back hang similar banners with words of welcome in various Western languages.
Welcome.
Bien venu.
Willkommen.
Unfortunately, the reality looks a bit different now. While it is still easy enough to obtain a Chinese visa, legislation concerning foreigners in the country has become more frustrating.
One is concerning hotels. Not just any hotel can accommodate foreigners. They have to be (for lack of a better word) "licenced" to do so. In the past, possibly in the run-up to the Olympics (when I was there last) this was not taken so seriously. Now, that the games are over checks have become stricter and more frequent. So, hotels are very strict about the matter. The same actually also goes for apartment complexes. Foreigners are not allowed to just live anywhere either.
I first found out about this because I was supposed to stay with a friend. I dropped my suitcase there after arriving but in the evening the guards (some young boys) would not let me in anymore. My friend kindly even called the supervisor but was told that, unfortunately, I would have to leave the next day and stay somewhere else. The first hotel I tried in that neighbourhood then also told me that they were sorry but they were not allowed to admit foreigners. Only a large three-star hotel finally took me in. I ended up spending more then 300 RMB for the night. But it got better. In Chengde me and a friend spent the better part of one evening trying different hotels - from small 50-RMB family run affairs to even a large three-star place. All were very apologetic but said it was not allowed. Foreigners, one young receptionist told me, could now only stay in hotels four-stars or better. Eventually, the cheapest such place we could find in Chengde still cost 480 RMB a night - a shocking more than 50 EUR!
The next shock was going online. I love net bars in China - I don't really know why but I feel a bit at home among the gamers and geeks. Now however, to use a net bar you need a Chinese national ID card (身份证), which is swiped when you pay and your ID number becomes your username. You can't do this with foreign passports, so those are disallowed. I find this a very worrying development since when your card is swiped it brings your photo and all your personal information up on the screen. This would give the government or police an incredibly powerful tool to monitor the web usage of each and every user. How much more Big Brother could it get?
Actually, I also wonder how backpackers these days get online - unless they stay at one of the youth hostels. In my time, I relied on the net bars to contact friends and family, check train schedules or look for hotels. Doing that offline would be a lot harder - especially if you don't speak Chinese.
Why am I moaning about this? People might say: "why not go to a country that has a more permissive legislation?" But actually, I love China. This time going back there felt a bit like returning home. Sadly, regulations like these are frustrating and make going back a bitter-sweet experience. My friend says things will change again. I hope for the better.