After the last post some people asked me what had happened. Initially, I wanted to go into a long rant about how unfairly life (and the people around me) is treating me. About how friends abandon me without any fault on my part. About how it hurts and makes me feel lonely.
However, I've come to realise recently that I've got it wrong. Forest Gump got it all wrong. Life is not a box of chocolates where it is only a matter of taking something out and seeing what it is. It is not all random. What you get out of life is what you put in. Not just in the metaphorical sense that if you work hard you get good results or such like. The world treats you the way you treat it. You hurt somebody - somebody hurts you. You turn your back on somebody - somebody will turn their back on you. Treat people kindly or fairly and they will treat you the same. But lie or cheat and that is what you will get. Break somebody's heart and you can be sure that yours will be broken, too. Not necessarily by the same person. It could seem completely unrelated but somehow your deeds will reflect back to you. Eventually, you reap what you sow. Call it Karma, call it divine retribution, call it good old-fashioned justice.
I have been careless with my deeds. I have been accumulating debt/guilt (interestingly the same word in German: Schuld) for a while now. It is too late to make amends or say that I'm sorry. My account is overdrawn and now it's time to pay up. The further you pull the pendulum in one direction the further it will swing in the other direction before balancing out. The moral is that I have no right to whine or complain or feel sorry for myself. Now that I have learnt this lesson I must act accordingly.
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