Here's another short story. Again, it's based on true feelings. Seems I've been inspired this week. It's a way to pass lonely evenings and my mind off things. Hope you like this one.
The whistle blows shrilly echoing through the station hall. It even drowns out the din of the crowd for a moment. People are coming and going, pushing and shoving. The vast hall is filled with noise and the smoke and steam from the great engines.
But all that is not important. There is her in front of me. Her large brown eyes are locked with mine. Eyes are the window to the soul. So I let myself sink into the soul of that wonderful being that holds my gaze, that holds my heart. She holds every fiber of my being. She knows that. And I'm lost. Willingly and happily. I love you, those eyes tell me. I'll always love you. No matter where you are, what you do. You are the one I adore. I see a passion deep as the ocean. It doesn't burn bright anymore like fire. That's only for those sweet first months. Her passion is of a different quality altogether. It makes her glow from within. It's like with coals. A wood fire burns bright and fast but is easy to extinguish. But try to put out glowing coals once they are hot enough to melt iron. She told me about this once. She knows so much. That's one reason I love her. One glance and she seems to have figured me out. She understands me better than I understand myself sometimes. I don't know where I'd be without her. How comforting her presence is. It's like a warm blanket for my soul. When she is there I know things can't be as bad as they look. With her around I have faith. I believe we will find a way no matter how difficult things may look. I let myself fall into that deep well that is her eyes. The love I find there envelopes me, shields me but it also gives me strength and courage. The strength to grow beyond myself, the will to be more than I am, to strive for higher goals. And she, like a gentle goddess, bestows on me the courage to go forth and do what I must do. I do it for her. Without questioning, without doubt.
The despots of the past were all wrong. Loyalty can't be forced. Even the political icons of the modern world are mistaken. Promises can't win the hearts and minds of their citizens. Love can't be bought. Trust can't be bribed. In fact, that's what makes it the most valuable commodity of all. It comes for free but once broken no money in the world can buy it back. She also taught me this. And I do trust her. For the smile on her lips I would walk through fire. For the caress of her hand I'd swim an ocean of storms and maelstroms. And for the place in her heart I'd travel to hell and back without a second thought. I'd do that for her and her alone. And I'm in heaven knowing that this beautiful creature loves me back. And I know she'd never ask for any proof. Because a look in my eyes will tell her all she needs to know.
Looking into each other's eyes like this we need no spoken words. I can almost see her thoughts pan out in front of me. I see the many ways she can love me. The manifold ways she adores me. I see the countless memories we share. There's us lying next to each other in fields of golden barley staring at the sky. There's us gazing at the sunset across the lake. There's her first and completely failed attempt at cooking dinner and my even more failed attempt at assisting her. How horrible it tasted and how we laughed. There's the time a downpour surprised us on the way home from the inn when we sought shelter under the narrow porch of somebody's house. We were completely drenched and her dress clung beautifully to her body. There's the time I nursed her for several days when she had the shakes and high fever. There's, of course, our first kiss. At first neither of dared to make a move until in the end we bumped heads. Then there's the passion we shared last night. All our lives together pan out like a grand painting. Everything that led us to how we feel today, right now.
There's also fear in her eyes. Fear because of what's happening around us in the world. Fear because the future has made a turn for the worse and we can't know where we are going anymore. There's the desperate wish that we could forget all this and go back to the way things used to be. To the fields of innocence. And I wish with all my heart that I could grant her that. Like a genie just by snapping my fingers. But I cannot. There is no way back. We both know that. The world has descended into turmoil. A turmoil that threatens to swallow everything in its path like a hungry beast. Just like it devoured our paradise on earth. It forces us to do things that are against our nature. It forces man to lift his hand in anger against man. And it forces me to part with the one I swore never to abandon, the one whose presence is more precious to me than the warmth of the sun. My love. My life. My one and only. My everything. The unthinkable has become reality. Powers greater than us demand it. So I must go and follow. I cannot even resent it. That is the way things are. I look into her eyes and we understand. There is no option, no choice, no alternative.
There's just that little flicker in her eyes that says: “I cannot live without you.” “Come back to me”, her eyes say to me, and: “I'll wait for you.” “I'm yours”, her eyes tell me. “Always”, they affirm. “Don't ever forget that”, they reinforce. “I'm with you where-ever you go”, they console me. “In my heart I am”, they add. “Come back to me”, they implore one more time, and: “Be safe.” “For God's sake, be safe.” And in my mind I tell her all the things she already knows, knowing she can see them in my eyes as clearly as though I had said them aloud. “I would never forget you”, I say. “You're mine and I'm yours”, I state. “Be strong”, I beg her, “for both of us.” “I'll come back to you soon”, I comfort her. “Everything will turn out well”, I tell her what she wants me to say. “Nothing can ever keep us apart”, I promise her then in the silence between us, “not distance, not enemy lines, not even death itself.”
There's nothing left to say aloud. And as other couples embrace and make each other tearful promises and parents give their sons their wishes and encouragements. Wives and mothers cry and fathers try to look proud of their sons. But none of that matters. We stand in silence in a space where no words are needed. But we share this moment and for the span of a heartbeat the world seems to fade away and we are alone. We're running across fields and kissing in the rain.
Then the whistle blows a second time and the moment passes. It's time to go. At last, I let go of her hand that I realise I've been squeezing. I'm huddled into the carriage full of other young men waving their farewells. The noise comes rushing back into the world. The door slams shut. The hiss of the engine cuts through the noise like a knife. With a jolt the carriage starts to roll. And still, all I see is her figure standing at the platform edge. Her slender hands are clutching at her skirt. “I love you”, her eyes are shouting after me. Then she's lost among the crowd as we accelerate toward our uncertain destiny. Death or glory. Who can tell? I dare not hope for anything.
Only one thing we can rely on: Our love will stand true though everything else may fail.
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