48 Hours

I can't believe I still haven't made up my mind. I spent the last 48 hours thinking it through, weighing the pros and cons, trying to pinpoint and isolate what I really want. Several times I thought I had reached a decision only talk to somebody with a different opinion, who would make me doubt again.
I believe there is no right or wrong decision. Am I a fool that I don't want to give up my ordinary office-job life in Britain for the exciting new existence of an English teacher in Beijing? I know that many people do it and enjoy it - enjoy it so much that they continue doing it for years. But can I really be an English teacher - a teacher? I know that I enjoy speaking English and I know (with as little arrogance as possible) that my English is pretty much flawless - better than that of many a local here. Still, there is a difference between knowing something and communicating this knowledge to somebody else. Moreover, I know my motivation has nothing to do with wanting to teach but because this is the only realistic chance to spend some time in China and mix with the locals. I guess, it's the same for many others, as well.
What else keeps me from going?
I tell myself it's not about my career. Many people have had a year abroad on charity or teaching or just travelling and have returned to resume a perfectly healthy career.
The most daunting thing, however, is the step into the unknown. What will await me at the university, in the classroom? Will I enjoy it? Will I hate it? Will get along and make friends with students and colleagues? Will I be alone? The only certainty is that once I accept the offer and start the term there is no way out but forward. Even six month can be an eternity if you're not enjoying yourself.
Am I a coward for thinking like this? Am I a fool for even giving this matter so much deliberation? Do other people who do this sort of thing think so much before they decide? Did they know better what they were in for before they left home?
Staying here would mean playing it safe. No excitement in exchange for no risk involved. I know what I have here. It's a bit like gambling: If you don't do it you keep your money - guaranteed. On the other hand, if you want to win you must first bet. "No risk, no fun", some even say. I guess, I was never a gambler. Then again, the prize was never so attractive.